GodSideKurt

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”  - Walter Winchell

I have been observing as I continue in this blog series how many of the quotes center on relationships.  No doubt this has to do with how essential they are to our lives.  When our relationships are going good then life is going good…when they are going bad then our lives tend to be as well.

In today’s world it’s not uncommon for us to have 100′s of “friends” on Facebook and yet feel lonely. We have increased our skill of relating to lots of people on a shallow/surface level and yet at the same time have lost many vital face-to-face relationships that are required when life gets rough.  Think about the toughest moments of your life…when you were experiencing something that brought you low, drained your emotions and you were in great need.  Who called you? Who showed up? No doubt I’ve discovered friends I didn’t even know I had in these seasons of life.  Ironically some of the people we wished had called or showed up were no where to be found. Though we longed for their care and concern they just didn’t come through.  Life has a way of revealing who our true friends are.

Bottom-line is that we need eachother on the journey of life…be the kind of friend in 2012 that sticks it out through the tough times…especially the tough times

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” –  Landrum Bolling

Maybe the reason we don’t forgive people who have wronged us has less to do with letting them “off the hook” and more to do giving up the hope of a better past. If you’re like me there are allot of things in your past that you wish had been different. Sadly this includes people who while in relationship had wronged us and we continually choose not to forgive them.

Who do you need to forgive in 2012? Who could you write an email to, pick up the phone and call? Give up the hope of a better past…allow it to be the past and move on.

“Only in fellowship do we learn to be rightly alone and only in aloneness do we learn to be rightly in fellowship.”  - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

When people ask me if I consider myself to be an introvert or an extrovert I respond that I am a weird mix of both.  Sometimes I love being the life of the party; spending time with groups of people doesn’t scare me and usually brings joy.  On the other hand I also enjoy time alone; hikes in the woods, nights in…which is why I have chosen over the years to live alone rather than with a roommate.  In reality I don’t know if I buy into the “extrovert/introvert” labels. I believe Bonhoeffer nailed it, as I think God intends for each of us to spend time alone as well as with others in healthy community.  Often people use the label introvert to avoid stepping out into uncomfortable situations and making friends.  Still others argue since they are extroverts that always have to be in a relationship even when that relationship is unhealthy or even abusive.

Lets strive to live 2012 with a balance of time alone as well as time in community. While we each have developed a tendency towards one, lets step out and grow this year.

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”  – C.S. Lewis

A lot of people view their faith as an add-on to their life…but I don’t think this does anything but frustrate people.  True Christianity, as in the kind of Christianity that looks like a couple of brothers dropping their nets, a rich man selling all his possessions and a murderer turned missionary spreading the message of Christ throughout the vast Roman empire.

With this new year I think it’s time we do away with this counterfeit lukewarm Christianity and decide to go all-in or stop identifying ourselves as Christians altogether. May your faith light up things this year that you have never seen before.

“We must build bridges of relationship that can bear the weight of truth.”  – William P.Young (Author of The Shack)

How many people in your life can you be completely honest with, hold nothing back and know that it will not effect the closeness of your relationship? Sadly this number is small for most of us…as we tend to run from relationships the minute they get challenging.  No body likes to be told their wrong, shown their flaws or told what to do…but an essential part of becoming mature adults is being able to hear tough words that allow us the opportunity of growing.  How can we grow up if no one ever tells us the truth? Just think of the countless singers who have had their dreams crushed when standing in front of Simon on American Idol they said it was the first time anyone had told them they couldn’t sing.

I want to build relationships in 2012 that I can be authentic, completely who I am while I am with them. I know that trust takes time to develop and cannot be rushed.  Are you willing to put extra effort into building strong relationships so both of you can be truly honest with each-other?

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.”  -Norman Cousins

One of the huge blessings of living back in Michigan is being able to be part of my nieces lives. They are 7 and 10 years old and have brought great joy to our family.  The other day I caught my oldest niece Aida smiling for no apparent reason. I asked her why she was smiling and she said something to the effect: “I don’t know why I am just happy!”  

What happens from age 10 on where we lose that default setting of joy? That is a huge question which I’m sure psychologists have well researched answers for…personally I think it has to do with how this world beats us down. When we were young we had big dreams of becoming astronauts, musicians and presidents, nearly everyone is happy to see us, they always greeted us with smiles and spent lots of money on us at birthdays and Christmas.  As we grow into adolescents more is expected of us, and more is demanded of us. Few invest in showing us the path into adulthood and soon we are just expected to act like adults. We learn along this journey that the world isn’t a very friendly place and that few attain their childhood dreams.  Instead of feeling “special” (see THIS post) we begin to feel like just a number, a “normal” person whose chief goal is simply to survive.  I hate the counsel usually given to parents of teens today that the teenage years are years which they need to survive. No wonder something dies within us…

We can learn a lot from children…perhaps the greatest being how to have joy in our lives for no reason at all.  What has recently died in you that could be resurrected in 2012? 

“If I have learned one thing in this life, it is that God will not tie my shoes without me.”  – Doug Boyd

A simple quote with a profound amount of theology wrapped up in it.  A lot of Christians I talk with hold a view of God (theology) that has Him in complete control of their lives.  I see this as an escape from responsibility more than anything else.  It is a very bad theology that doesn’t recognize the clear teaching from the Scriptures that the type of relationship God desires with humanity is that of a partnership. He doesn’t want to do all the work and invites us to share control with Him.  In other words I believe there are things that we don’t have to ask God permission to do…paths we can take in life with confidence that God will walk with us.

What area of your life are you waiting for God to tie your shoes? Maybe the very best resolution you could make this year is to start tying your own shoes.

“The challenge today is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else.” – Unknown

There is something lodged deep within each of us that longs to be unique, different…someone who doesn’t conform to what everyone else is doing. In short we long to be special, to be somebody’s favorite.  I don’t think this is an evil desire and perhaps reflects our worth in our Creators eyes. Ever since the first TV was turned on we have been fed the lie that everyone acts and looks the same way.  I’m sure you have heard of the ancient dilemma: does art imitate life or does life imitate art? While I believe both happens, I think the evidence is pretty clear with the 100′s of students I’ve worked with over the years that usually: life imitates art…or specifically people imitate what they see on TV, in magazines and on the internet. Advertisers tell us what we have to wear, how we’re supposed to smell, what kind of cars if we want to be like everyone else. How many iPhone’s do you think were sold to people who had no idea what it could do for them simply because they saw a slick commercial and everyone at their work had one?

What a challenge for us in 2012…to be uniquely who God made us to be, rejecting the counterfeit substitutes that our culture sells us.  The world doesn’t need another clone…what this world needs is you being YOU.  

Are you up for the challenge of being yourself this year?

For the next twelve days I will be posting some of my favorite quotes that I believe hold the potential to make this one of the best years of your life.  Would love you to interact during this series, sharing your own favorite quotes and thoughts.  They are in no specific order, here’s today’s quote:

“There are two great days in a person’s life — the day we are born and the day we discover why.”  -William Barclay

Obviously the day we are born is an important day because…well we wouldn’t have many other days if we didn’t experience that first one (deep I know). It’s this second great day that so few of us find and yet are longing to discover.  However tough they might be, the circumstances of our lives become meaningful when seen in light of our purpose.  I don’t think its possible to find true fulfillment this year unless we know and live out the purpose for which we were created.

Do you know why you were born?